Ok, so due to recent developments ( I don't even know if I can call it "development", it's still all too confusing) about my story at the moment, I didn't have time to write the next part of my story because I'm really, hmmmm... just really confused. I wish this is something I can share right now, but it's really reallyyyyyyy hard for me to write about, I'm all emotional and stuff, and plus I don't want to spoil the story when it hasn't even really began yet. So let's just get back to where we left off, and continue from there.
Where was I?
(FYI: I'm really sooo confused and emotional right now, it's hard for me to even write this, so if there are some parts that I was supposed to write about, and missed out on it, I will probably write about it in the future. So please bare with me. )
Ok, so I've been talking and teaching some guys how to speak English. Of course, them being guys, flirtation will always be thrown around, but I didn't mind. Nothing serious can possibly come out of this anyway, so I flirted back, didn't really care. Some of them asked for my phone number, and I gave it to some of them, all in good fun.
James at this time, was still telling me that he still loves me. Since obviously he was playing me, I thought I would play his game as well. Whenever he told me he "loved" me.. (ewww... lol ) I said the same thing to him, if he told me he missed me, I would say the same thing too, and so on. But whenever he added new girls and tried to make me jealous, I added new boys with mine as well. I'm really not the jealous type, but since we're both playing games, I only did to him, what he was doing to me.
So, while he was talking to other girls, I was talking to other guys as well, just to show him I didn't care what he did. But then there was this one guy. He doesn't even know a word in English, but he always spoke to me anyways. And me, trying to teach people English, gave him the chance and spoke to him anyway. (Plus he was really cute, not like James but really really cute... :P)
While I was speaking with James, I was also speaking with this other guy as well. Sometimes I think I see this guy's face get irritated because I didn't give him all of my attention, but it was hard to, since we barely understand each other. From the first time we spoke, he introduced himself as İbo. He was 21 years old at that time, lived in Turkey, and had just recently finished his army service 5 months before we met, and was currently working at a restaurant.
We barely understood each other but... I don't know, I really liked speaking with him a lot. He used an English dictionary to speak with me, and I thought that was really sweet of him to show he really was making an effort to learn English to talk to me, while I was also using an online translation thingy to understand what he was saying. ( Basically he learned to speak English because of me. God I'm so helpful sometimes... lol.. :P)
He flirted with me, I flirted back, he called me things like aşkım, bebeğim, meleğim and whatever (my love, my baby, my angel... yeah I know, really flattering... :P) and I must admit, it all felt really good. He asked for my phone number and I gave it to him, just like I did to some other guys. But he always texted me everyday and told me sweet things, despite his lack of knowledge with the English language. I was even suprised one time, that when I visited his profile in this social website, I saw my pictures on his page, and everytime I uploaded my pictures, he always made a comment on each picture, saying sweet romantic things. ( I think I still have those messages kept somewhere, and if I find it, I might show it.... "might".)
One of the most memorable things was the first time I opened my cam to him while I was on an internet cafe. I didn't have cam at home that time, so when we spoke, he was the only one opening his cam to me. The moment he first saw my face, he had this really big smile on his face. The biggest smile you could ever think of. Imagine a kid that had his first taste of ice cream or something. I can't explain it well, but I think you guys get what I mean. The moment I saw that smile, I totally fell for it, but at the same time, I was holding back. I didn't want to show him that I was starting to like him. After we had our conversation that day, he immediatley sent me a text message in Turkish. I told him I was sorry because I didn't understand anything, but he said in his broken English,
Was this guy for real? In the back of my mind, I was like, starting to think that maybe, it was real, but I didn't even want to think about it. I always said to myself, online relationships really never work out, and I know most guys like to flirt a lot. He had other girls on his page as well, so even if he had my own pictures on his page, (i still thought it was sweet... :P) I was thinking that he could just be another James.
So there was this one time, that I was speaking with İbo and James at the same time, both cams opened. James and I were having a good laugh. Since it was easier speaking with him, I guess I paid more attention to James. Suddenly, this Turkish guy sent me a message.
My online translation wasn't working at the time, so I just let it go, but I still remember the phrase he used. So when I had the time to translate it, I was completely shocked and terrified.
I cut you,don't you know that I'm psychopath."
When I had realized what he had said to me, I immediately sent him a text message, telling him that I understood what he said, and I will NEVER EVER speak with him again. It was such a loss, because I really started to like him, but I thought to myself, I shouldn't be wasting my time with a guy who wants to "cut me up."
***I think this is by far is the longest post I have ever made. Since I haven't written for a long time, I guess this entry is for all those time I missed out writing. I probably skipped a lot of things while making this blog entry, so I guess that will be something I have to get back to. But I think I'll end this post here.
Well... at least for now.
