Part 3- First Encounter

Ok, so due to recent developments ( I don't even know if I can call it "development", it's still all too confusing) about my story at the moment, I didn't have time to write the next part of my story because I'm really, hmmmm... just really confused. I wish this is something I can share right now, but it's really reallyyyyyyy hard for me to write about, I'm all emotional and stuff, and plus I don't want to spoil the story when it hasn't even really began yet. So let's just get back to where we left off, and continue from there.

Where was I?

(FYI: I'm really sooo confused and emotional right now, it's hard for me to even write this, so if there are some parts that I was supposed to write about, and missed out on it, I will probably write about it in the future. So please bare with me. )

Ok, so I've been talking and teaching some guys how to speak English. Of course, them being guys, flirtation will always be thrown around, but I didn't mind. Nothing serious can possibly come out of this anyway, so I flirted back, didn't really care. Some of them asked for my phone number, and I gave it to some of them, all in good fun.

James at this time, was still telling me that he still loves me. Since obviously he was playing me, I thought I would play his game as well. Whenever he told me he "loved" me.. (ewww... lol ) I said the same thing to him, if he told me he missed me, I would say the same thing too, and so on. But whenever he added new girls and tried to make me jealous, I added new boys with mine as well. I'm really not the jealous type, but since we're both playing games, I only did to him, what he was doing to me.

So, while he was talking to other girls, I was talking to other guys as well, just to show him I didn't care what he did. But then there was this one guy. He doesn't even know a word in English, but he always spoke to me anyways. And me, trying to teach people English, gave him the chance and spoke to him anyway. (Plus he was really cute, not like James but really really cute... :P)

While I was speaking with James, I was also speaking with this other guy as well. Sometimes I think I see this guy's face get irritated because I didn't give him all of my attention, but it was hard to, since we barely understand each other. From the first time we spoke, he introduced himself as İbo. He was 21 years old at that time, lived in Turkey, and had just recently finished his army service 5 months before we met, and was currently working at a restaurant.

We barely understood each other but... I don't know, I really liked speaking with him a lot. He used an English dictionary to speak with me, and I thought that was really sweet of him to show he really was making an effort to learn English to talk to me, while I was also using an online translation thingy to understand what he was saying. ( Basically he learned to speak English because of me. God I'm so helpful sometimes... lol.. :P)

He flirted with me, I flirted back, he called me things like aşkım, bebeğim, meleğim and whatever (my love, my baby, my angel... yeah I know, really flattering... :P) and I must admit, it all felt really good. He asked for my phone number and I gave it to him, just like I did to some other guys. But he always texted me everyday and told me sweet things, despite his lack of knowledge with the English language. I was even suprised one time, that when I visited his profile in this social website, I saw my pictures on his page, and everytime I uploaded my pictures, he always made a comment on each picture, saying sweet romantic things. ( I think I still have those messages kept somewhere, and if I find it, I might show it.... "might".)

One of the most memorable things was the first time I opened my cam to him while I was on an internet cafe. I didn't have cam at home that time, so when we spoke, he was the only one opening his cam to me. The moment he first saw my face, he had this really big smile on his face. The biggest smile you could ever think of. Imagine a kid that had his first taste of ice cream or something. I can't explain it well, but I think you guys get what I mean. The moment I saw that smile, I totally fell for it, but at the same time, I was holding back. I didn't want to show him that I was starting to like him. After we had our conversation that day, he immediatley sent me a text message in Turkish. I told him I was sorry because I didn't understand anything, but he said in his broken English,

"You not sorry, bebeğim, because im see you, im very happy today :) understand me?"

Was this guy for real? In the back of my mind, I was like, starting to think that maybe, it was real, but I didn't even want to think about it. I always said to myself, online relationships really never work out, and I know most guys like to flirt a lot. He had other girls on his page as well, so even if he had my own pictures on his page, (i still thought it was sweet... :P) I was thinking that he could just be another James.

So there was this one time, that I was speaking with İbo and James at the same time, both cams opened. James and I were having a good laugh. Since it was easier speaking with him, I guess I paid more attention to James. Suddenly, this Turkish guy sent me a message.

"jayir delirtme beni aşkım keserim seni ben psikopatım sen bilmiyon mu"

My online translation wasn't working at the time, so I just let it go, but I still remember the phrase he used. So when I had the time to translate it, I was completely shocked and terrified.

"no, don't make me mad my love
I cut you,don't you know that I'm psychopath."

When I had realized what he had said to me, I immediately sent him a text message, telling him that I understood what he said, and I will NEVER EVER speak with him again. It was such a loss, because I really started to like him, but I thought to myself, I shouldn't be wasting my time with a guy who wants to "cut me up."

***I think this is by far is the longest post I have ever made. Since I haven't written for a long time, I guess this entry is for all those time I missed out writing. I probably skipped a lot of things while making this blog entry, so I guess that will be something I have to get back to. But I think I'll end this post here.

Well... at least for now.

Part 2- English lessons

So my "experiment" on practicing my social skills over the internet was working really good. Too good actually, that I made too many friends, I couldn't even keep track who I was speaking with at times. And yes, most of the "friends" I made were guys... :P

Tunisian, Italian, Indian, Turkish, you name it, there were loads of them. There were some who can't even speak good English, but because I was trying to be a good friend, I offered to help them with their conversational skills, and have them practice their English with me. (Keep in mind, I was also trying to practice being a "people-person".)

Ok, let's skip to the part about James.

James on the other hand, didn't need any help speaking English. He lived in UK, so trying to have conversation with him wasn't a problem at all. We hit it off really well. We talked a lot, we flirted a lot and everything was really good. Until I realized I wasn't the only one he was "flirting" with.

He is a very handsome guy (at least from his photos). I mean VERY HANDSOME, blue eyes, fit body and everything so I should've known that it's normal for him to flirt with as many girls he wanted. Despite that, we still kept having conversations, and he still kept flirting with me. And me, just being me, took it all light-heartedly. I guess some boys will always be boys, so I really didn't care whatever he said or did. I don't even believe in having an online relationship, because I knew that most of the time, it never really works out. So I thought to myself, I'll just take it as it is, and go with the flow.

You think I was broken-hearted?

Of course not! I have other problems to think about, and he will not be one. I wasn't looking for a relationship, so I just let him do whatever he did, and I did what I was doing all along. I always teased him about being a player anyway, and he kept denying it. (Take note that all players will always deny everything, and try not to get caught.) He insisted that he really loved me but I knew better. Anyway, while he flirted with all the girls he made friends with, including me, I kept making new friends to speak with, and was helping them with their English as well.

Anyway, that's not the important part.

You should've guessed by now that most of the friends I made were from Turkey. I looooooooooved speaking with them. I mean besides the fact that they were sweet and romantic, I did learn a lot about their culture and tradition. Things about how they treated women, and how their close family ties were very similar with my culture, that only made me want to speak with Turkish people more. It was a bit difficult communicating with some of them, because a lot of them barely know any English at all. But there was one in particular who was really very... interesting.

Oh just so you know, interesting is an understatement.