Part 3- First Encounter

Ok, so due to recent developments ( I don't even know if I can call it "development", it's still all too confusing) about my story at the moment, I didn't have time to write the next part of my story because I'm really, hmmmm... just really confused. I wish this is something I can share right now, but it's really reallyyyyyyy hard for me to write about, I'm all emotional and stuff, and plus I don't want to spoil the story when it hasn't even really began yet. So let's just get back to where we left off, and continue from there.

Where was I?

(FYI: I'm really sooo confused and emotional right now, it's hard for me to even write this, so if there are some parts that I was supposed to write about, and missed out on it, I will probably write about it in the future. So please bare with me. )

Ok, so I've been talking and teaching some guys how to speak English. Of course, them being guys, flirtation will always be thrown around, but I didn't mind. Nothing serious can possibly come out of this anyway, so I flirted back, didn't really care. Some of them asked for my phone number, and I gave it to some of them, all in good fun.

James at this time, was still telling me that he still loves me. Since obviously he was playing me, I thought I would play his game as well. Whenever he told me he "loved" me.. (ewww... lol ) I said the same thing to him, if he told me he missed me, I would say the same thing too, and so on. But whenever he added new girls and tried to make me jealous, I added new boys with mine as well. I'm really not the jealous type, but since we're both playing games, I only did to him, what he was doing to me.

So, while he was talking to other girls, I was talking to other guys as well, just to show him I didn't care what he did. But then there was this one guy. He doesn't even know a word in English, but he always spoke to me anyways. And me, trying to teach people English, gave him the chance and spoke to him anyway. (Plus he was really cute, not like James but really really cute... :P)

While I was speaking with James, I was also speaking with this other guy as well. Sometimes I think I see this guy's face get irritated because I didn't give him all of my attention, but it was hard to, since we barely understand each other. From the first time we spoke, he introduced himself as İbo. He was 21 years old at that time, lived in Turkey, and had just recently finished his army service 5 months before we met, and was currently working at a restaurant.

We barely understood each other but... I don't know, I really liked speaking with him a lot. He used an English dictionary to speak with me, and I thought that was really sweet of him to show he really was making an effort to learn English to talk to me, while I was also using an online translation thingy to understand what he was saying. ( Basically he learned to speak English because of me. God I'm so helpful sometimes... lol.. :P)

He flirted with me, I flirted back, he called me things like aşkım, bebeğim, meleğim and whatever (my love, my baby, my angel... yeah I know, really flattering... :P) and I must admit, it all felt really good. He asked for my phone number and I gave it to him, just like I did to some other guys. But he always texted me everyday and told me sweet things, despite his lack of knowledge with the English language. I was even suprised one time, that when I visited his profile in this social website, I saw my pictures on his page, and everytime I uploaded my pictures, he always made a comment on each picture, saying sweet romantic things. ( I think I still have those messages kept somewhere, and if I find it, I might show it.... "might".)

One of the most memorable things was the first time I opened my cam to him while I was on an internet cafe. I didn't have cam at home that time, so when we spoke, he was the only one opening his cam to me. The moment he first saw my face, he had this really big smile on his face. The biggest smile you could ever think of. Imagine a kid that had his first taste of ice cream or something. I can't explain it well, but I think you guys get what I mean. The moment I saw that smile, I totally fell for it, but at the same time, I was holding back. I didn't want to show him that I was starting to like him. After we had our conversation that day, he immediatley sent me a text message in Turkish. I told him I was sorry because I didn't understand anything, but he said in his broken English,

"You not sorry, bebeğim, because im see you, im very happy today :) understand me?"

Was this guy for real? In the back of my mind, I was like, starting to think that maybe, it was real, but I didn't even want to think about it. I always said to myself, online relationships really never work out, and I know most guys like to flirt a lot. He had other girls on his page as well, so even if he had my own pictures on his page, (i still thought it was sweet... :P) I was thinking that he could just be another James.

So there was this one time, that I was speaking with İbo and James at the same time, both cams opened. James and I were having a good laugh. Since it was easier speaking with him, I guess I paid more attention to James. Suddenly, this Turkish guy sent me a message.

"jayir delirtme beni aşkım keserim seni ben psikopatım sen bilmiyon mu"

My online translation wasn't working at the time, so I just let it go, but I still remember the phrase he used. So when I had the time to translate it, I was completely shocked and terrified.

"no, don't make me mad my love
I cut you,don't you know that I'm psychopath."

When I had realized what he had said to me, I immediately sent him a text message, telling him that I understood what he said, and I will NEVER EVER speak with him again. It was such a loss, because I really started to like him, but I thought to myself, I shouldn't be wasting my time with a guy who wants to "cut me up."

***I think this is by far is the longest post I have ever made. Since I haven't written for a long time, I guess this entry is for all those time I missed out writing. I probably skipped a lot of things while making this blog entry, so I guess that will be something I have to get back to. But I think I'll end this post here.

Well... at least for now.

Part 1- The Origin

If i were to describe myself in one word, that word would be cautious.

or maybe guarded, or restrained. Anyway, you get the point.

My entire life, I always thought twice before making any decision, or jumping into action. I guess that's because of the way I was raised. I grew up in a "slightly" (take note quotation marks... :P) conservative Christian family. I studied in a Christian school, and I always got good grades when I was in highschool, (graduated as a valedictorian actually) until I got accepted in a University. That was when all things changed.

It was probably culture-shock that got me. I was so used to being around my close-knit friends in highschool, I had a hard time making new friends. I know it sounds pathetic really, (uggghhh) but that was me. I don't know how it happened, ( or maybe I had an idea how it happened, but i cant find an explanation for it... ) I just realized one day, after eating alone during lunch, and walking all the way home by myself, THEN I realized, I had become what i was dreading all along. I was an introvert.

I know, it sounds... actually... I don't know. But it's not what I expected to be. I do want to make friends, but it's like, I didn't know how. So I thought I had to do something about it.

I tried hanging out with classmates, but it all felt awkward for me, and for them as well. I was running out of ideas and I didn't know what else to do. So my last resort was to practice my social skills on some social networking sites. I mean, everybody can be friends with anybody on the internet right?

So I joined a couple of sites, registered and stuff like that, blah blah blah...

One site in particular kept me really hooked. It wasn't as well-known like Facebook or whatever, but I really got into it. Wanna know why? Because the moment I registered I got about 20 friend invites...some of them from guys...really gorgeous guys... :P (I was a 19 year old girl how did you expect me to react? :P) Some were from US, some from Italy, some of them from places I obviously don't remember (doesn't remove the fact they were still gorgeous!) and of course. A couple of guys from Turkey.

And that's when I met James.

Why the Hell did I Name this Blog "The Turkish Man Effect?"

I know, it sounds weird. Now I find myself asking why the hell did I choose this to be my blog name? It sounds a bit cheesy (it sounds really cheesy... :P) and I think I would need to explain why I chose this to be my blog name.

The Butterfly Effect states- that a butterfly that flaps it's wings from a certain place, might cause a drastic weather change to another part of the world.

It still doesn't explain a lot, does it? Well let me explain further.

There was a time when a Turkish guy made a big impact in my life. Although it didn't end like I hoped it would, and it didn't turn out like it was supposed to, (more details on this soon... :p) I had definitely learned a lot from it.

One of the things that I learned was, if you haven't met a Turkish guy, you wouldn't know the real definition of romance. Oh yes, Turkish men, are romantic people, and I know at some point, YOU, reading this blog, may have definitely fallen for a Turkish man. (or woman, doesn't really matter now, does it? )

But the thing is, it doesn't end there. Another thing that I have learned is that, once you find yourself 'involved' with a Turkish guy, it is definitely eye-opening, in both good and bad aspects. It opens your eyes to their cultures, and traditions, their way of life and so on.

Now concerning the "love life" of people, I know a lot of women who are now with their Turkish men, and is now living the fair-tale-love story that most girls dream of. I also do know a lot of women who fell in love with Turkish men, only to find themselves being used, in more ways than one. (Not to focus on the negative aspect of it, there are always two sides of the story, and reasons why some of these men are doing or are forced to do what they do, which will be explained and given an example of someday...:p)

In any case, whether good or bad, to those who have met a Turkish man (or woman), they will always have an impact in our lives, no matter who you are or where you are now. So I want this blog to focus on stories of people who are with, or have been with Turkish men, and how, being with them has made a drastic change, or impact in their lives.